UPDATED. I started selling with a direct sales company and I’ve been embarrassed ever since (or, why my side hustle isn't less than yours)

UPDATE: I am no longer selling with a direct sales company. So many reasons. Mostly, though, selling in its truest form just isn't for me. Since I stopped, I have read a lot of posts about how selling these types of product can be a shitty experience for the seller's friends, who feel obligated. I'm still of the belief that each person has to take responsibility to be honest with one another. If you aren't interested, tell your friend. And sellers, if it is clear that someone isn't interested, stop pestering them. It's pretty simple if we can all be real with one another. Isn't that how life works? Rant over.

Truly, embarrassed. Like, haven't-told-my-coworkers embarrassed.

Why? Because I’m not the kind of person that gets suckered into things. Because I am well educated. Because I am a hardcore feminist. The kind of feminist that didn’t shave in college, and for a good amount of her life spelled women with a Y, and would most certainly not have married her husband if he wasn’t a feminist too.

And because I'm assuming that most of my facebook friends are looking down on me. Because I used to do that too. It's direct sales, after all.

Wikipedia says this: "Modern direct selling includes sales made through the party plan, one-on-one demonstrations, and other personal contact arrangements as well as internet sales.^[2] A textbook definition is: "The direct personal presentation, demonstration, and sale of products and services to consumers, usually in their homes or at their jobs."^[3][4] " I was taught early on to be skeptical of direct sales companies, along with telemarketers, politicians, and shoe salespeople.

But then my twenty-something cousin started selling from a well-known direct sales company. Unlike when coworkers notified me that they were repping some product I didn’t really want, with my cousin, my first instinct was to be supportive of her new business endeavor. Notice I said be supportive, not necessarily support, because while the products weren't a great fit for me personally I knew she was trying to make a life for herself and support her family - two goals that I could really get behind.

I started to think about our acceptance of the mostly-male-run store brands we happily spend big bucks on (big bucks, by the way, that go to CEOs making so much more than any one human needs) and all the ads they buy to get us there, versus my lovely cousin with her genuine, honest, humble goals in life. This company she worked for gave her a nice commission, and was flexible enough to meet her needs. I started to wonder if products from direct sales (predominantly sold by women) weren't a (the?) most feminist choice I could make with my purchases, save for the woman-owned, woman-made local product business (which is still the company I’d recommend above all else if you’ve got access to one).

I assumed someone had already written about this, so I googled it. 

Most of the articles you find when googling “feminism” and “direct sales” are about how they take advantage of women, fooling their poor consultants into believing they can make millions. The Harper’s article “How Mary Kay Sells Women on Having It All” is a great example. It's beef is with the company's non-feminist beginnings, goal of making money off of its consultants, and profiting off of women believing traditional workplaces do not provide flexibility to raise a family. It says, “Most of today’s (insert direct sales company here) ladies are struggling, though, even as the company flourishes at their expense.” Wow. So many things to say about that one. 

Let’s start with this. Have you visited a grocery store or chain store or department store lately? Do you think those stockers, or cashiers, or even department managers are making good money? Yeah. They are not. 

Secondly, traditional jobs don't actually provide a great amount of flexibility. Even if the company itself is ok with a mom or dad taking off when their kid is sick, our society (and the parent's coworkers) most likely aren't. There is a whole lot of guilt that goes along with leaving work mid-day to clean up barf for the next 24 hours. 

And lastly, I’ve got to ask:  How stupid do we think women are? The fairer gender can do math, after all. Percentages, minus the samples, carry the nine… this isn’t a quick trip to financial freedom. Obviously. But to make ends meet, or pay for the extras, it can help.

I’ve seen social media posts from consumers who feel that their friends are using them for sales. This one is my favorite – oh, the anxiety I felt after reading that thread. It still fills me with shame. 

But to put it into perspective, do you have any idea how much your favorite brands are spending (and then charging you) for marketing? But wait! There's more! Do you know that stores are then upcharging the health and body care products you are buying by a 50% markup? It’s true. See the proof here, here, and here. Welcome to capitalism.

This is not to say that local stores don’t need such a high markup (they do). It’s to clarify that the 30-50% that direct sellers make on the products you buy is certainly not out of line with the industry standard. And it’s to say that you aren’t supporting your friend’s bank roll when you buy from a woman-owned direct sales business. At least not any more than you are supporting some rich white man’s bank account when you buy products from your favorite company at your favorite store.

I think what it really comes down to is that when our friends ask us if we are interested in buying something, it is harder to say no. And that is a feminist issue all of its own, amiright?

I cannot stress this enough: do not buy what you do not want. From your co-op, your chain store, or your friend. OF COURSE. I, and I imagine the majority of my colleagues, have no interest in you feeling obligated to “help” us in any way. I promise that you will never lose a true friend because you say “no thanks” to the products they are selling.

But hey.

I happen to be the seller of a set of products that I think are bee’s knees (which is a designation I don't give lightly.)  And it seems pretty silly to me that anyone would avoid them simply because of a selling structure that gives women extra income, freedom to choose their hours, and a bigger cut of the profits than traditional retail.

So. (she takes a very deep breath.)

I sell Ava Anderson NonToxic products. Because I believe in them. You can hear more about why by stalking or liking my facebook page. And if you are interested, you can buy them at http://avaandersonnontoxic.com/joey and I’ll get credit as your consultant.

And that is NOTHING to be ashamed of. 

♥

Thirty Seven

This photo was taken after an entire day of unpacking
and organizing. It is going to be a long week.

After a wonderful and exhausting trip to the midwest where we saw family and friends, packed up a uhaul with all of our belongings, and said goodbye to our house, we got back into town less than 48 hours before my 37th birthday, which was yesterday. And then I began unpacking.

Today, as I continue to unpack box after box and try to fit our lives and memories and necessities into our one-bedroom apartment, I am (of course, and as always) thinking about my debt and my future financial security. I enjoy thinking about this now because I have a plan—which is so much nicer than when the thought of our debt load made my heart race. My snowball says if I work hard and be very careful, we will be out of debt—completely—by the time I turn 40. That is my goal, my 40th birthday present to myself: to pay everything off between now and then and enter my next decade owing no one.

While moving (and then moving again) hasn't been cheap—particularly because we moved so far away—I feel like we have made some excellent choices that are going to pay off in the long run.

1. We sold our house and rented a cheaper apartment.

We haven't closed quite yet, but it appears that we have sold our house in Minnesota. This is HUGE. Since January, we have been paying both mortgage and rent, so dropping one of those payments frees up a lot of extra money to pay down debt each month. Our apartment has character, feels fairly spacious (although I do think that it likely has less square footage than our small house), is within walking distance of a lot of great places including the bus line, and has ample natural light. It also happens to be nearly $400 less per month than our mortgage payment was, and there will be no monthly repair or upkeep costs for us like there were in the house. I estimate that going forward our cost of living will go down at least $500 per month compared to where we were last year.

For us, there are two other benefits to renting. First, it has helped us reduce our stuff even more than before. We have no garage, and just a small space in the basement for storage. There is just not enough room for anything that isn't both functional and beautiful. Second, we are not tied into a specific payment for the next 15 to 30 years. If we find ourselves with a reduced budget, we can look for a place that fits that budget and move. While I don't see this happening, it relieves a lot of stress just to know that we have more short-term control over our housing costs.

2. We bought a stainless-steel rice cooker.

That seems contrary to everything the green gazelle is about, doesn't it? Spending money on another kitchen gadget. But, boy oh boy, was this a good move for us. For $30-40, I now have a safe and easy way to cook a very filling and cheap grain (especially when you buy in bulk, which we do) without wasting half of it by burning it to the bottom of the pan (which I do). This will cut down our burrito filling needs by half. Since we eat burritos of some kind probably 4-5 times per week, I think the rice cooker was a good investment with significant money-saving potential. (We bought this one from Amazon for our 2-person household. It's pretty small, but there's a larger one available too.)

3. We've (mostly) stopped making random purchases of stuff.

I love (LOVE) me a good rummage sale. But as I began to get overwhelmed by clutter a few years back, I stopped finding anything I wanted to buy at those sales. And eventually, I pretty much stopped going. This also applies to big-box stores, for the most part. Yes, I go when they have something I need, but I try to make do with something else or go without first. This didn't really take a whole lot of effort to be honest. I just began asking myself where I would put it once I got it home, did I already have something that did the same job, and would I really use it often enough to make it worth the cost and space? As I visualize actually living with the item, my disdain of clutter makes it so much less appealing.

Our move really helped with this too. I think for me having a house, basement, and garage made it really easy to pick up stuff that we "might want/need someday" just because we had the space to store it out of sight. For those items that weren't free, but I perceived as a really good deal, that actually meant putting it on a credit card and ultimately paying more for it in interest. (And even if I paid cash, since I hold a credit card balance, any cash that I spend on stuff reduces what I can send to pay down my debt, so I'm still paying interest for the ability to make the purchase.)

Packing and moving so much stuff (even after getting rid of a ton) was the first step to the cure. Moving into an apartment was the second. Keeping a really close eye on our finances was the third. I'm not saying that I never make impulse purchases anymore, but I'm definitely making many less. More often, if I find myself in a big-box store with a few items, I'll reassess their cost and worth to me and often end up putting the unnecessary items back before I check out.

4. I got a part-time job... have you heard of Care.com?

I've mentioned that I just got a new degree. Unfortunately, the job market isn't great right now and there appears to be a saturation of folks in my new field. As I contemplated more volunteer experience, I also knew I needed to be bringing in at least some money. I found a few pet care job postings and noticed they all linked back to Care.com, which is a site a bit like LinkedIn that allows providers and seekers of pet care, child care, elder care, and more in a given area find one another. I realized that if I was going to spend my time doing anything, hanging out with people's pets would be a really fun thing to do. The site allows you to make a profile, where you can also list the hourly range you are willing to work for and the days/times you are available. Thanks to this site, I'm going to be doing some part time pet care and personal assisting for a respectable hourly rate. As a bonus, the job will not be stressful and I won't have to think about it when I am not there... which will add to my mental well-being.

If you are looking for a side gig to make a little extra money for debt repayment or bulking up your retirement savings, you might want to check out the site.


Summer always helps things look a little better, a little brighter, doesn't it? My plan is to utilize that positivity to hone my budget system, so that when it starts getting cold again I'll already have good habits and proven progress.

We can get out of debt. We can become more financially secure. All of us. Me. You. We can do it. But it doesn't happen by itself. I'll continue to evaluate our expenses and stick to our pay-off plan.

Because this work toward financial security isn't sacrifice. 

This is freedom.

Some Favorite Reads

First eggs from our first CSA pickup of the season.
Too bad nest eggs aren't as easy to procure.

I've thoroughly enjoyed some blog posts and articles that I have come across recently, and I've been meaning to share them with you. I hope you find inspiration or ideas in the links below. Enjoy!

• Want to simplify your life, but not sure where to start? This great WikiHow called "How to Live a Simple and Peaceful Life" will give you some guidance on reducing your time commitments and slowing down.

• Want to retire sooner rather than later? Mainstreet.com's article How Extreme Savers Can Retire By 40 may be a little optimistic age-wise. But it does point out how what many consider to be ordinary lifestyles could seem lavish to others — and just how much we could really save if we considered some extreme changes. You may not be ready to go this far, but it does get you thinking, and perhaps one of these actions will feel doable for you.

•  Mr. Money Mustache's post Curing Your Clown-Like Car Habit is a hilarious, crass, and sort of hard-assed reprimand to those of us driving for most of our transportation needs (yep, that includes me). Definitely worth the read.

• If you aren't getting ahead but find yourself in avoidance-of-reality mode, this Simple Dollar post called Staying Afloat Isn't Enough might be just what you need. For me it was a good kick-in-the-pants to stop ignoring my financial problems and start getting serious. I have to do that every few months if I want to stay on track to stop living paycheck to paycheck someday!

And I'd like to leave you with a quote I read yesterday in the Huffington Post article Anxiety Quotes: 8 Reasons to Stop Worrying: 

"Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.”

 – Benjamin Franklin 

Keep in the sunlight, friends.

Support Through the Struggle

I got the card. I saved $4.

Here is the baseline I live by: If I am in any debt (other than a mortgage), that means I am struggling financially.

That isn't to say that I am going hungry, or that I cannot pay my bill minimums, or that I'm in danger of becoming homeless. But if my only option is to pay some rich corporation additional money every month (in the form of interest) and the only thing I get in return is to owe them money for longer, I'd say I'm not in great shape money-wise.

So I admit it to myself and to you: I am struggling financially.

Do you know anyone who isn't?

But when procuring credit cards is so easy, and when we are only required to pay minimums so we can continue to treat ourselves and live above our means, it doesn't always feel like a struggle. It's easy to just continue on with life in the same, overextended way. At the end of the month, though, when your income-to-expense ratio hits you smack in the face, the stress of bill paying or the sheer mass of debt you owe is a big clue that the numbers aren't adding up.

We might not be where we thought we'd be by now. We may feel like we should be doing better. But admitting you're struggling doesn't mean you are in poverty. It doesn't imply that you are looking for handouts. And it isn't something to be ashamed of. It just means that we've been fed the lie that our Dream is to accumulate stuff, that we deserve to have more stuff, and that if we only had more stuff we would be happier. And we're ready to dream a new Dream, because the one we've been believing is so much bull. Many (most?) of us are in the same boat. We have a lot of company, whether it looks that way or not.

The benefit to admitting a financial struggle to yourself is that you can then begin to look for — and accept — the support opportunities that inherently exist in a capitalistic society. There are deals to be had, my friends. Reducing your expenses doesn't have to come in the form of eating neon orange mac and cheese, or fast food, because it's the cheapest thing we can find.

It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that while I'm in debt, I simply cannot afford to do all of my shopping with the locally-owned businesses I try to support. If I ever want to be financially secure enough to do so, I need to focus on getting out of debt now. I've started to take a look at the "Clean 15" list of items found to have the least pesticide residue if I can't pay the premium price for organic. I've begun to shop around for the best deals on things I use the most of. I'm still mindful of trying to spend my money locally and on companies/items that I can feel good about, but I also have to be honest that I need to find a way to cut my expenses (especially on food and body care products, my biggest expense after housing). If you, like me, need to reign in the spending but don't want to ditch your values, here are a few money-saving opportunities to consider.

Monday

I am grateful for this day; I am grateful for this life.

As we journey through our Monday, I want to slow down and remember that we are all so amazing. This world is amazing. And our only real duty is to experience it. 

So today, I'm going to take a deep breath. Smell the earth. Taste the intricate flavors of the food I get to eat for lunch. Listen to all of those beautiful birds singing! Exude love, and have compassion for everyone, including for myself.

Happy Monday, everyone!

Fear Keeps You in Line

Note: This is the second and final piece I wrote in 2011 for a different blog I had started on work and worth (which I have since abandoned), with some edits. I wrote this about eight months before I quit my job to focus on finishing a career-changing grad program, but it is clear i was already contemplating it. I think that it is good for us to question why we hold the guilts and fears and beliefs we do - especially about work, and especially when that work has ceased to benefit us for whatever reason. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

I have a family member who drives over an hour each way to work a nine hour day in construction. Today is his birthday. He left for work at 4:30 a.m., and was almost home by 7:30 p.m. When I asked him if he still liked his job, he said, “I’m glad I have a job.”

And I understand that. It’s been drilled into our heads our entire lives. Americans are hard workers. We must take pride in what we do. We are valued by our dedication to our jobs. There is no other option.

So we go to work. Some, like my family member, for fifteen hour days. And we go again tomorrow. But what else are we going to do? We’ve been successfully frightened to death by the inevitable financial ruin that would come from something like *gasp* quitting your job. What an unbelievably huge leap that would take.

But let’s look for a minute at the actual financial state of the two-income household.

On Why Unions Matter, and the Gall of Considering a New American Dream

Does your work make your life better?

Note: I wrote this on February 27, 2011 for a different blog I had started (and posted to all of two times) on work and worth. While I didn't continue on with that blog, I wanted to share those two posts with you, dear reader. Here's the first one. Though the current events mentioned are now dated, the message still holds true and shouldn't be forgotten. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

“We don’t want a bigger piece of the pie. 
We want a different pie.”

~Winona LaDuke

As I sit here tonight, Wisconsin’s governor is fighting to hand the power of the workers over to the will of the rich. The face of labor rights will be changed indefinitely if he wins, and I find myself feeling both enraged and helpless, a volatile combination that only ends in despair.

I am not a union worker, but I support their rights with every fiber of my being. Their rights are my rights, and yours. Take away the bargaining power of the union, and you take away the rights of every single working American. If you think that unions have done nothing for you, check your history book. And then imagine what your life would be like without the 40-hour work week, weekends, vacation time, a minimum wage law, and benefits.

When I Grow Up

I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, or at least, what I want to put my energy into. I'm kicking myself for not taking my father's words of wisdom when I was in college: "Money doesn't buy you happiness, but it buys you choices." Since then, I've always worked jobs that I could feel good about, that fit my values. The down side to that is that often they don't pay well, usually just enough to pay the bills. Trapped! So here I am, a decade plus of work years behind me, and no nest egg to fall back on, no savings to afford me the opportunity to get off the treadmill for a minute to re-evaluate my course. Because there are two other paths that I can see in this world.

The crossroad is this: to the right, there is the notion of working more hours, commuting, and making more money (much more, definitely more than enough to pay for the added cost of the commute and all that goes with it). To the left is the concept of working less hours and making less money. If the option was available to me, I'd go left in a heartbeat (so typical of me, don't you think?).

I dream of having time to use my CSA share to its fullest: freezing spinach and kale, tomatoes and peppers; dehydrating eggplant and zucchini, strawberries and celery. I'd like to make beans from scratch, instead of always buying them in cans. I want to make my beau fresh bread a couple of times a week, and biscuits or muffins each morning for breakfast. I'd like to start to make my own clothing. I'd love to have time throughout the year to make my gifts, instead of doing it frantically at the last minute, or just giving up and buying something. This would result in some fairly significant savings off of our expenses.

One of the other benefits of this lifestyle I'm working toward is the reduction of disposable plastic that I'm introducing to the waste stream. No gifts sold in that plastic you have to use scissors to get into, no more bags of frozen veggies to purchase in winter, no more plastic tags and bags and crap. It also, of course, would reduce my environmental impact in many more ways. No more hopping in the car to go get an ingredient because I worked all day and don't have time to bike. Significantly reduced use of tin cans of food (sure, I recycle them. But that takes lots of energy. There's a reason it's last in the list of options: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle). Less money going out of my community.

Perhaps the biggest impact that this change could have? More balance in my life. I've felt out of balance for a while now. I can see what I want to put my energy toward, but I haven't yet been able to get myself there. I find great joy in providing for my family (and not financially, but instead providing the things we need: food, a non-chaotic house, homemade hats and scarves and containers...). I like making things. I enjoy saving money by finding alternatives. And I want to take care of the "to do list" while B's at work, so our evenings and weekends can be stress-free... nothing looming over our heads, nothing to procrastinate, just time to have fun, recharge, enjoy each other.

I don't really have to wait for a career change to begin to create this life. Simply by cutting my internet usage and television time, and planning my days better, I can have more time to do all of this, right now. My new motto? "The life you want begins with what you do today."

photo: My new obsession: Making felt bowls. Pretty, easy, useful.

Live where you work, work where you live

It's true. The cost of gas is high. And we Americans have a love affair with our cars. What to do?

We green gazelles have a couple of choices here. We can cut back our spending in a different area to cover the rising cost of fuel. We can buy a hybrid (although the idea of purchasing a brand new car, wasting all those resources and dollars, makes my inner gazelle very unhappy). Or we can drive less. Less time wasted in traffic, breathing in all those toxic fumes. Unfortunately, many of us drive to work, and work far enough away where not driving is not an option.

Where we live, there is no public transportation to the city that most commuters head to each morning. My partner, in his quest to work at a job that he cared about, commuted to a suburb of that city for nearly three years. It was a great move for his career and he got valuable experience which made him more marketable. But last summer, when fuel prices were rising and predicted to go much higher, he began working hard at finding a job in his field in our small town.

The best way to do this is to look constantly. Check the websites of all of the potential employers at least weekly. While you wait for your dream job to be posted, write a killer resume and cover letter, and pick out your interview outfit. And figure out what you'd be willing to give up to work in your town.

It might have been worth it for us to take a job in another field in order to get those 10 hours a week in the car back, or even taking a job that was less than full-time. The money savings may have even covered that. For us, it was easy to take a pay cut (although luckily he didn't need to take much of one). The cost savings in fuel alone made up for it. When you added in the cost of having more than one car, including insurance, repairs, car payments, etc, it was a no brainer. Plus, with extra time not being spent in traffic, he could do house projects that we had considered paying someone else to do. Now he walks to work each day, which is good for our wallet, his stress level and health, and the environment.

I moved to this community for a job, so I have always worked in the community where I lived. It wasn't until about 2 years ago, though, that I stopped driving to work. You can bike from one side of town to the other in 15 minutes, and yet it took me years to stop driving everywhere.

After making an effort to keep the car in the garage, it was probably a good 3-6 months before it became habit to walk or bike. Once I got over that hump, I discovered a pleasing side affect. Suddenly, taking the car felt like a hassle, much like taking the bike had previously. I'd have to open the garage door, find a parking spot, etc, and I didn't really save any time (it takes me 5 minutes to get to work by bike, 15 on foot). I retrofitted a burly bike trailer to have a flat bottom and now I just hook that up when I need to get groceries. I now get exercise every day, without making time for it or paying for a gym membership.

If you are looking for a money saving opportunity, consider looking for work where you live, or moving to the community in which you work. And break up with your car!